“I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you!” Those words are currently valued at $80 Million. 24-year-old Mariah Carey co-wrote and recorded that Christmas classic back in 1994 and almost 3 decades later you can’t get away from hearing it at least once a day during the Christmas season. But seriously those opening lyrics do set up a standard that’s hard for some men and women to live up to. In essence it says my love language is not so much gifts as it is quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch. It says spending money on stuff to show me how much you care isn’t as meaningful as truly giving your heart and giving of yourself.
Now don’t get me wrong. In reality there are many guys who get in trouble because they fall for the okey doke when they hear “oh you don’t have to get me anything” and they don’t get anything. Please don’t fall for that banana in the tail pipe trick. So yes, gift giving to the one you love is important for Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries. But simply throwing a gift under the Christmas tree is not the way to win his or her love. Giving of yourself, sharing tender moments, demonstrating the love you have for your spouse in the way that your spouse receives love… that is the message of the song.
What about you? Do you tend to take the easy way out and use gifts or “things” to demonstrate your love for your spouse? Here’s an idea. What if during the holiday season you created an evening of romance as one of the ways you celebrate? A table for 2 at your favorite restaurant… Maybe an evening at home with a bottle of your favorite wine, Christmas Smooth Jazz on your speakers, and just the glow of the Christmas tree to set the mood. What about you and your friends taking turns watching each other’s children so you each can enjoy an intimate date night? Now here’s the craziest idea. What if you simply asked your spouse “what can I do to make your Christmas special?" You might be shocked by the answer you receive. “All I want for Christmas…”
Mike Watkins Atlanta, GA