Since February I’ve been going to the gym just about every day. Now in full transparency on some of those days going to the gym might mean just sitting in the sauna for 15 minutes but I digress. Invariably every day I see two types of men and women in the gym. One type looks so out of shape that most people would say “why bother?”. (Careful I probably fit in that group.) While the other type of man or woman looks so in shape that most people would say “Why are you here? You’re in great shape!” The answers are quite simple, the “why bother” type is there to get healthy. The “why are you here” person is there to stay healthy. In other words, it takes work to get healthy and even more work to stay healthy. After 17 years of being involved in marriage ministry I’ve determined that it’s the same with our marriages.
There are many couples who are on the brink of divorce but still trying to work things out. They may attend counseling, marriage retreats, or even enlist other married couples to help them figure things out. They are investing into their marriage to try to make it better. Outsiders would probably look at these types of couples and say “Why?”. Will it pay off? We don’t know and there’s no guarantee. But the fact that a couple in this situation is putting forth the effort at least gives them a chance to make it. They are trying to “get healthy.”
On the other hand, there are also couples who look like they have the model marriage. Always happy, always willing to do for others, always setting an example. We see this couple often attending marriage workshops, enjoying regular date nights, and travelling together. Just the type of couple that many would look at and say why do they need to invest in their marriage? We see this couple attending marriage enrichment events on the regular and yes, this is the couple that many would look at and say “why?” they don’t need to work this hard. But this couple is trying to “stay healthy.”
Do you see yourself in either one of these couples? Are you maybe someplace in the middle? The reality is that regardless of where your marriage is on the spectrum; wedded bliss or tore up from the floor up, marriage takes work. You must invest in your marriage! In all of our years of being involved in marriage ministry the phrase that make me the most worried is “we’re good.” That’s the phrase used by couples who don’t buy into the idea that love takes work and you must invest in your marriage. Are you “good?” or are you ready to invest in your marriage? One great way to invest in your marriage is the 16th annual Heart of Marriage Retreat… 16 years? There must be a lot of couples trying to get healthy or stay healthy!
Mike Watkins Atlanta, GA